Notes"House Republicans, as a group, may take great pride in the goose egg they offered President Obama's stimulus package. But now the unanimous opposition is struggling to bring that money home. "Unfurl
Notes"A fired-up Barack Obama ditched his TelePrompter to rally House Democrats and rip Republican opponents of his recovery package Thursday night – at one point openly mocking the GOP for failing to follow through on promises of bipartisanship. "Unfurl
Notes"On his first day in office, President Obama put former president Bush on notice. His administration just released an executive order that will make it difficult for Bush to shield his White House records--and those of former Vice President Dick Cheney--from public scrutiny by invoking the doctrine of executive privilege. Shortly after taking office, Bush handed down his own executive order, amending the Presidential Records Act to give current and past presidents, along with their heirs, veto power over the release of presidential records, which are considered the property of the American people. "FeedEmbedUnfurl
NotesWhoa, I missed one from back in November. "President Bush collapsed in the Oval Office after spontaneously expelling a 3-pound kidney stone from his bladder, sources reported Tuesday. According to witnesses, the president was attending his daily Iraq War briefing when he suddenly began shrieking loudly and clutching his abdomen, a mixture of blood and urine pooling rapidly around his feet. Bush was able to maintain consciousness through more than 20 minutes of excruciating pain, even after the jagged, grapefruit-sized crystal aggregation shredded his urethra and dropped from his left pant leg, finally rolling to a stop on the presidential seal in the middle of the Oval Office carpet. Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital."Unfurl
Notes"Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday, as prepared for delivery and released by the Presidential Inaugural Committee."Unfurl
Notes"George W. Bush, 43rd president of the United States of America, passed away painlessly in his sleep Monday night, White House sources confirmed. The 62-year-old Bush was reportedly discovered lying unresponsive in his bed by first lady Laura Bush, a gentle smile still on his lips. "It was as though he knew it was his time to go," said longtime family physician Dr. Harold Ditmas, who pronounced the president dead of natural causes at 7:24 a.m. Plans for Bush's funeral have been postponed indefinitely following an unexpected incident in which the president's corpse was sucked through an Air Force One jet engine."Unfurl
Notes"And to protect and defend the Constitution, a president must do more than obey the Constitution himself; he must hold those who violate the Constitution accountable. So Mr. Obama should reconsider his apparent decision to let the previous administration get away with crime. Consequences aside, that’s not a decision he has the right to make. "Unfurl
Notes"President Bush collapsed to the floor of the Oval Office during a meeting with advisers when spiderlings hatched from thousands of egg sacs affixed between the hemispheres of his brain, according to a White House memo released Monday. The spiders severed the president's corpus callosum and ate through the motor-control center of the brain, doctors said, causing Bush's body to jerk involuntarily as a scurrying mass of crab spiders emerged from his mouth and crawled down his face. Witnesses confirmed that a number of spiders also discharged from the president's tear ducts. Secret Service agents restrained the president and carried him to the White House medical facility, but doctors said that by the time Bush arrived, the arachnids had already consumed his corneas, pupils, and vitreous humor. Bush is resting comfortably at Bethesda Naval Hospital."Unfurl
NotesOkay, so this one is actually kind of funny. "The Federal Aviation Administration said engine failure was to blame for a pilot losing control of a four-seater Cessna aircraft that crashed head-on into President Bush Thursday. According to the FAA report, the nose of the Cessna 350 impacted with the president's face at 110 mph, instantly killing pilot James Morris, 45. Bush reportedly suffered third-degree burns on 95 percent of his body, a broken spine, 20 shattered ribs, one collapsed lung, a basilar skull fracture, and minor leakage of cerebrospinal fluid"Unfurl
Notes"Health-care reform would put one of the most productive sectors in the U.S. to work to shore up the nation's economy, says BW contributing editor Chris Farrell"Unfurl
NotesChrist - again? Who is writing these, and how are they funny? "President George W. Bush sustained a perforation injury to his right eyelid when a pneumatic nail gun malfunctioned and shot a 12-centimeter-long iron nail that entered Bush's superonasal sclera, exited through his upper eyelid, and then penetraed the wall of the White House Blue Room. The president remained pinned to the wall for a period of 27 hours before help arrived."Unfurl
Notes"If you thought Barack Obama's clear rout over John McCain meant we'd be spared a third Electoral College melodrama—well, think again. This time, the argument is not over votes. It's over Obama's citizenship."Unfurl
NotesSeriously, what's funny here? I didn't get it last time with the Crocodile biting off his arm either. "President Bush sustained serious head injuries, massive internal bleeding, and a broken left leg Monday morning after being accidentally dragged behind the presidential motorcade for a period of 15 minutes."Unfurl
NotesI'm definitely not a Palin fan, but this non-story is stupid. I'm squeamish about it, but how the hell do you think the turkey gets on the table? I bet reactions to turkey slaughter help divide people into tribes even better than "You betcha" and "Joe sixpack" verbal cues. I wouldn't be surprised if it were a bit intentional ... "Some videos you just have to see to believe. On Thursday, Alaska Governor Sarah Palin appeared in Wasilla in order to pardon a local turkey in anticipation of Thanksgiving. This proved to be a slightly absurd but ultimately unremarkable event. But what came next was positively surreal. After the pardon Palin proceeded to do an interview with a local TV station while the turkeys were being SLAUGHTERED in the background!!"Unfurl
NotesI don't get the joke here. "Bush's severed arm was unable to be recovered. Doctors confirmed that he will be fitted with a prosthetic limb in a procedure Friday, and that he is currently being treated for sepsis. Bush is resting comfortably in Annapolis Naval Hospital."Unfurl
Notes"Obama comes into office as the first President both knowledgeable about and comfortable with the technology that runs today's world. This is actually an important and promising development and the worst thing we can do is try to force him into a technology-free cocoon in the name of security or whatever. Mr President-elect, if you want to keep that BlackBerry, please do so. Besides, we don't want a new President going through his difficult first weeks in office suffering from BlackBerry withdrawal."Unfurl
Notes"Obama comes into office as the first President both knowledgeable about and comfortable with the technology that runs today's world. This is actually an important and promising development and the worst thing we can do is try to force him into a technology-free cocoon in the name of security or whatever. Mr President-elect, if you want to keep that BlackBerry, please do so. Besides, we don't want a new President going through his difficult first weeks in office suffering from BlackBerry withdrawal."Unfurl
Notes"Winning 51 percent of the popular vote in Tuesday's election , Bush administration officials were quick to declare that the results constitute a "mandate" for Bush's second term. This interpretation of the election caught hold in the mainstream media-- a sign perhaps that White House spin was triumphing over the actual numbers recorded on Election Day. "FeedUnfurl
Notes"I know a lot of you out there don’t plan to vote for Barack Obama. I can accept that. As much as I think America desperately needs the hope for a better future that he embodies, I can admit that he’s deficient in certain areas. And, I can see how his charisma and celebrity status might put some people off. I get all that. And I don’t want to change your mind. What I would like to convince you of, however, is that you shouldn’t reward McCain and Palin, who have, over the course of this campaign, appealed to the basest elements in our nature, with your vote. They have lied, engaged in race baiting, and even gone so far as to infer that their opponent - a United States Senator - is a terrorist, and a threat to our nation. I have to think that a majority of Republicans find that kind of behavior reprehensible. ... It is no longer a party of ideas. It has become the last refuge of anti-intellectuals, and fear mongers. It is the party of Sarah Palin."Unfurl
Notes"Tomorrow, you can put an end to the politics that would divide a nation just to win an election; that tries to pit region against region, city against town, Republican against Democrat; that asks us to fear at a time when we need hope. ... Tomorrow, at this defining moment in history, you can give this country the change we need. "Unfurl
Notes"It's fun! It doesn't have to be full of bullshit and drama like your single life. It reduces your sense of obligation. It's so much less work to go out. The Ball and Chain is for Losers. Married people are hot and getting hotter. You can just say "screw everybody else" sometimes. You can have sex whenever you want. You become less of an asshole."Unfurl
NotesFor her part, Sarah Palin, who has lately taken to calling Obama “Barack the Wealth Spreader,” seems to be something of a suspect character herself. She is, at the very least, a fellow-traveller of what might be called socialism with an Alaskan face. The state that she governs has no income or sales tax. Instead, it imposes huge levies on the oil companies that lease its oil fields. The proceeds finance the government’s activities and enable it to issue a four-figure annual check to every man, woman, and child in the state. One of the reasons Palin has been a popular governor is that she added an extra twelve hundred dollars to this year’s check, bringing the per-person total to $3,269. A few weeks before she was nominated for Vice-President, she told a visiting journalist—Philip Gourevitch, of this magazine—that “we’re set up, unlike other states in the union, where it’s collectively Alaskans own the resources. So we share in the wealth when the development of these resources occurs.”Unfurl
NotesI really wish this question had not been asked. Mu, dear god, mu! "Does Obama / McCain slash fiction exist? If so, where can I find it and what are the major themes in the genre?"FeedUnfurl
Notes"This is what the Republican Party has done to us this year: It has placed within reach of the Oval Office a woman who is a religious fanatic and a proud, boastful ignoramus. Those who despise science and learning are not anti-elitist. They are morally and intellectually slothful people who are secretly envious of the educated and the cultured. And those who prate of spiritual warfare and demons are not just "people of faith" but theocratic bullies. On Nov. 4, anyone who cares for the Constitution has a clear duty to repudiate this wickedness and stupidity."Unfurl
NotesYes. "Broadband Everywhere. Universal Healthcare. No federal taxes on internet purchases. Renew a commitment to Education. Renew a commitment to Science. Real changes to transportation. Allow early voting by mail. Revamp Copyright/IP law. Fund the patent office so it can do a better job. Open government."Unfurl
Notes"Despite his stated desire to close the American prison at Guantánamo Bay, Cuba, President Bush has decided not to do so, and never considered proposals drafted in the State Department and the Pentagon that outlined options for transferring the detainees elsewhere, according to senior administration officials."Unfurl
Notes"Yesterday, Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK) sat for an interview with KUSA, an NBC affiliate in Colorado. In response to a question sent to the network by a third grader at a local elementary school about what the Vice President does, Palin erroneously argued that the Vice President is “in charge of the United States Senate“"Unfurl
Notes"The same republican party operatives that were so in love with Colin Powell that they wanted him to run against Clinton in 96 are now questioning his judgment, suggesting that a highly respected, former soldier, general, secretary of defense, chairman of the joint chiefs of staffs and secretary of state make political decisions based on race. How low can you go?"Unfurl
Notes""It doesn't matter where you live, we all love this country, and I hope it gets through. We all love this country," he said. "We are one nation, under God, indivisible. We are all patriotic. We all love our country in every part of this nation! And I'm tired. I am tired, tired, tired, tired of the implications about patriotism.""Unfurl
Notes"As of last night, McCain is "not in any was embarrassed to know Gordon Liddy." I have a follow-up question: Why not? And one more: what does it say about McCain's character that he pals around with an unrepentant convicted felon who's talked openly about killing federal officials?"Unfurl
Notes"I had to give up. This sentence is not for diagramming lightweights. If there's anyone out there who can kick this sucker into line, I'd be delighted to hear from you. To me, it's not English—it's a collection of words strung together to elicit a reaction, floating ands and prepositional phrases ("with that vote of the American people") be damned. It requires not a diagram but a selection of push buttons."Unfurl
Notes"Nevertheless, Palin’s verbal hodgepodge may say nothing about her qualifications for the vice presidency. Judgment and political acumen could well rest on different mental capacities than the ability to order thoughts into smooth sentences. But the inability to answer a straightforward question about economic policy without becoming tangled in words suggests either ignorance about the subject matter or a difficulty connecting between ideas. Neither explanation is reassuring. "Unfurl
Notes"With Republican nominee John McCain continuing to flounder at the polls, the unknown force that orders the universe announced yesterday that Scott Bakula has entered the body of the struggling Arizona senator in order to "help him out of a real jam.""Unfurl
Notes"With his electoral prospects fading by the day, Senator John McCain has fallen out with his vice-presidential running mate about the direction of his White House campaign. "Unfurl
GOP Fighting For Money From Stimulus They Opposed
MotherJones Blog: Obama to Bush: I Can Release Your Records. Don't Like It? Sue.
Schneier on Security: The Future of Ephemeral Conversation
Homeland Security: Rethinking What Works : NPR
Bug 434915 – 'Barack Obama' is considered a misspelled word
GOP Knives Come Out; Palin Gets Filleted
Defining Bush's "Mandate"
Does Obama / McCain slash fiction exist? | Ask Metafilter
Sheddings - They're Palin and McCain...